How to Believe in Yourself: 3 Life-Changing Steps

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Surround Yourself with Positive People

You are the company you keep. It’s been said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. The Bible says bad company corrupts good morals. MIT conducted a study that found that you earn within $2,000-$3,000 dollars of your closest friends. If you have broke friends, you will be broke. If you have wealthy friends that wealth will rub off on you. If you have happy friends, their happiness will rub off on you.

Having positive people in your life can’t be underestimated. Friends make or break you. Negative friends can lead you down a dark road. Positive friends will uplift you when you are down and keep you uplifted. They will not give you an excuse to feel sorry for yourself and engage in self-pity.

Positive friends help you find solutions to your problems. They don’t let you wallow in them. Yes, empathy is an important aspect of friendship, and it cannot be forgotten. We all need someone to understand us and see us for who we really are. However, good friends will not help you wallow in your problems. He or she will help you find the tools to turn your problems around to get relief.

  • Positive friends hold you accountable.
  • Positive friends don’t let you make excuses.
  • Positive friends see the best in you and encourage you to go further.
  • Positive friends just plain feel good to be around.

“A wise man once told me, if you stand in the drizzle long enough, eventually you get soaked.”

If you don’t feel good around your friends, get some new friends.

If your friends are constantly complaining about what they don’t have (money, a husband, a good job, etc.), get new friends.

If your friend constantly puts you down or takes little digs at you, trust me, there’s more on the way. Get far away from that person and find friends who love you and build you up.

A wise man once told me, if you stand in the drizzle long enough, eventually you get soaked. Even if their complaints and negative behavior seem innocuous at the time, over time your friend’s negativity will affect your character.

Do What You Do Well—A Lot

Another way to believe in yourself is to do what you do well—a lot. If you dance, dance a lot. If you paint, paint a lot.  If you write well, write every day. If you design jewelry, keep doing it. You will get better and better, and the better you get, the more you will enjoy your abilities. Eventually, other people will start to notice and you will draw positive attention to the talents you’ve worked so hard to develop.

We want to be recognized for what we do well. It feels good when we are recognized for our good work. And let’s be honest. Most of us don’t develop talent for the heck of it. We develop particular talents because they draw us positive attention. That’s our core motivation. There is nothing wrong with this. I’d rather receive attention for things I do well than for things I don’t do well. When we get that positive attention, we are motivated to do even more of what we do well. Eventually, that special talent could turn into a career or a life work. It’s up to you.

But you don’t have to make your beloved hobbies your career. You can just do them out of the sheer love of doing them. Just do those things that you love, those things that you do well—and do them a lot. The confidence you build doing the things you love will transfer to other areas of your life.

It’s best to focus most of your attention on what you do well rather than spend too much time laboring over a skill in which you are just mediocre. Plugging away at an activity in which you are only so-so will only produce frustration and feelings of dissatisfaction. When you are dissatisfied with yourself, your self-confidence can take a hit. That’s the opposite of what you want. You want to maximize your strengths so that believing in yourself comes naturally.

Practice Affirmations

Speaking good things into your life is key. You have to constantly feed yourself positive words if you want to feel positive about yourself. You can’t get new friends, focus on your talents, and expect to believe in yourself if you speak negativity into your own life.

It all starts with you first. You have to love yourself.

What I mean is, when you love and praise yourself, it is easier to accept love and praise from others. Other people can praise you all the time, but if you don’t believe in the praise for yourself, in some way, it could put a strain on your relationship.

When you love yourself, it is easier to accept love from others. When you accept love from others, they enjoy their relationship with you more. When they enjoy their relationship with you more, you will enjoy it more. It’s a feedback loop. A mutual appreciation society.

“If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm. Don’t be your own worst enemy.”

Affirmations reprogram your subconscious mind. Negativity runs through our minds everyday. If it doesn’t come from within, it comes from without. If it doesn’t come from without it comes from within. You can’t really control what the outside world does and says to you. Yes, sometimes you can avoid problem people or problem situations, but not all of the time. However, you can control your inner environment. Affirmations help you take control of your inner environment. You can control what you say to yourself. So be sure that the works you speak to yourself are to your benefit.

There’s an African proverb that says, “If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.” Don’t be your own worst enemy.

If you’re interested in getting started practicing affirmations, read this post. I break down the 5 elements of practicing positive affirmations. If you need more, I wrote a book about it too. Check it out.

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